fade away

i never wanted to say goodbye

day by day, my presence are fading away.all i can do is remembering all the memories tht we make together and hope you are happy.i really think tht my choice wasnt wrong at all.kmk tok xda hak mok cntrol hidup org and mok cntrol sapa org ya mok bcouple.if kmk x decide mok lepaskan ktk dlok, mybe one day i hv to do so.its not tht easy to make decision.i believe u are happy with my decision.i like to knw u are happy..its the only secrifice tht i can do for u.kmk xpat nk polh pa2 spanjang kta bsama.i hv done nothing at all.seriously kmk rsa mnyesal juak polh decision ya.its not tht ktk xpande jaga drik time kta bsama..its me nk xpande jaga ktk.im not blamming u.hope ur final sem gona turn out to be just fine..im sorry im not there to help u althou i promissed u tht i will help u.i hv done nothing to help u thou..all i hv done was sitting in my room look at ur pic tht left in my lappy and blame myself tht i cant do anything for u.im really2 sorry.i knw im not perfect.i knw im not an ideal guy.i knw tht im not handsome.i knw tht im not kind.bt im happy tht i dont all of tht.im gona stay low from now..u are the 1st and the last i ever loved soo much..bt i realize tht love is not eternal.human is not immortal.kalau ada jodoh, we will meet again.if not im gona stay low.i dont want to get involve in social life(bcoule2) for the time being..no one can replace u for now.farewell katak.hope u always be happy.may the time ticks shows tht hw long we hv known each other.

the most annoying people xD

1) calling ppl noob bt he played like super noob.

2) always cancel finding match.

3) feeding on purpose.

4) leaver.

how i feel..i just want you to understand.and knw

-getting ignored day by day..its not hurt at all..but pain..
-felt distance between you and someone you really like getting far.far away..its far worse feeling ever had.
-felt smthing changed a lot drastically.
-keep loosing her..
-felt invincible..
-threatened by past..
-promised that i make killing me..
-feel like im going to fall apart..
-missing you thou you are not with me anymore..
-keep thinking about you..
-flash back smthg tht she said tht she missed me coz i nvr cntact her for a day..now i can feel it by myself for my whole life..
-trying to understand you..

isi hati terpendam

 Assalamualaikum..

its been long time ey mate..hari ni just wanna let it all out..after slama ni pnat sgt pndam smua bnda..rsa mcm nk fall apart.every smile on my face..every laughter..i cant feel joy in it..rsa mcm smua tu fake..burden kot..i really getting tired bit by bit..rsa mcm kna uji sgt..how could i handle everything? how could i understand ppl..penat..i tried my best..tp outcome xsperti yg aku sngka.." not everything u can achieve with just an effort " dan " u cannot get smthg u desired the most with just trying ur best" ..i was making a secrife just to make u happy..bkn ssuatu yg aku nak sbnanya..im not expecting to leave u..msa tu aku mmg dh mati akal..everything went wrong..aku mcm dh ups ide down..xleh nak pike lg mcm mna nk solve..then i'll just follow the situation..and make the decision*scara tpaksa*..once it has been said..i knw its hard to turn back..almost impossible..aku xleh nk buat apa2..all i hv done is make her angry..so i hv decide..msa aku hntar msg " i'll let u go for now... " i almost cried..my pride as a guy torn apart..tgn aku bgegar nk antar msg tu..xsggp nk hantar.coz i'll never wanted this to happed..aku dh cuba nk paham prasaan si dia..jga hati si dia..its not tht aku saja nk ambik hati or popularity..i dont even want fame..just aku mmg btol2 .emm..btw cant cntinue..then aku kuatkan smangat..smua ni aku buat untk si dia.."xpe..someday u'll see her pure smile again" aku tekan send..and ttiba rain drop from the sky..all the secrifices i made for her just to see her happy..althou it will broke me apart thou..aku tau smua bnda ni akan hunt aku smpai bila2 sbb aku dh buat promise..so aku nk mntak maaf la k..smpai skarang aku rsa mcm..aku xkan dpt rsa pure laughter and smile..ever again..sbb burdened..thats y some ppl say " kta xkan rsa tenang klo kita blom tunaikan janji till u enter ur very own grave" i was =..=" soo burdened..its all my fault..xleh nk lupa..i cant cry.coz i must be strong..a guy must be strong..tp ada time tu ttiba rsa mcm nk baca smthg..quite special to me..then i was touched..aku tpikir "slama ni aku mcm xpnh appreciate pn apa si dia buat.xabis2 buat si dia marah..and i'll just forget2..how dumb it is..skarang baru nk mnyesal..its too late brader.." tkenang balik kisah2 1st dlu..rsa mcm every laughter and smile i hv tht time was filled with joy..rsa sronok sgt..i felt mcm burden tu xrsa sgt*wpun burden tu mmg ada sbnarnya* all the problem solved..with her around..nvr been stressfull for me..klo stress pn..dgr si dia ktawa, i'll cool down in no time..i missed tht moment..bt now..im dragging all the problem..hving emotional problem..unstable..over imagine things tht often make me angry..troublesome for me..i wish tht u'll be at my side tht time so i can hear ur laughter..tp aku xleh nk bgi tau si dia yg aku ni ada problem ke tak sbb aku xnk si dia pulak feel burdened by me..aku ni pnganggur*temporary* and si dia pulak tgh study..so aku klau bleh xnak bebankan si dia..all i wanted is to hear her voice..tp aku ni slalu plak buat hal..bluurr3x..sloww2..sbnanya aku takut..everything aku nk buat aku kawal..bkn nk kontrol hensem okay..xhensem punn..just xnak si dia feel annoyed..and last2 smua bnda tu plak buat si dia annoyed..lol..wht happen actly..aku dh start nerves..almost everytime..kan wak..tiap2 kali msti buat hal kan..ahaha..tu la pasal..kontrol punya kontrol..smpai sndiri mati akal..wak saye xsngaja..saye try best xnak buat awk marah..jgn marah k awk..saye ni mmg jrg ckap..not very talkative..i like do things bt not talk..i do things will make me very happy..since kte jaoh..so i cant do anything..im not sweet talker..my weakpoint..i think its bad..aku xde buat smthg tht makes u really happy..xsmpat lngsung..sad..i'll never gives up till i make u really2 happy..its my word..and saye xpikir pasal balas2 k wak..xkesah..like i said..i do wht i wanted to do..and im happy with it..im not a talker..asalkan i get to hear u laugh and look at ur smile again..thts all i ever wanted..ok.thts all.i felt like kurang sikit jiwa kacau nih..for those who read..sngaja or x sngaja..its not easy to really understand ppl..its almost impossible nak jaga hati org..tp ingt..to really understand those things, try to put urself into theirs..u will knw how they feel.just like wind blows..with no fixed direction..thts the time u realize u nvr be perfect..

i keep it forever..never forget

 gnite pal...

you once make my life bright & cheerful..hope you can make me feel that way again someday..

no matter how far i go..i'll never forget about you and i make sure you are second person would know good new from me after my family..

that day....sure i will wait for you..

im gonna make you smile always..not gonna let you down like i did before..

i'll never fall for othr person and i always fall for you..now and always *froggysnail..my precious froggy.i always be there for you..i'll never walk away..

you always be my froggy..

you & me..froggy & snail..for the time being i'll edure everything for you..i'll sure acheive success and someday i will make sure im gonna make you happy..

 for you..and only you..*froggy*

touches me much

Assalamualaikum..goodmorning pal..

pagi2 buta ni ada pulak rasa nak update blog..emm..just now aku tringat kat si dia*mmg salu ingt kat die punn..xpnh lupa..* aku ttiba buka blog si dia..read all the entry that she post..more that i read..prasaan sedih yang teramat sangat pun datang..tringat balik zaman aku mula2 confess kat si dia..setelah lama perhatikan si dia kat FB..aku xtau plak ape yg buat aku ni sangkut sgt2 dgn si dia..dari mula aku add si dia kat FB..mcm fall in love in first sight..bukan nak main ayat..memang betul2 mcm tu..dari aku jd stalker( bkn stalk2 nk buat keje jahat k :P ) si dia..then jadi secret admirer si dia..after that aku confess dgn si dia..sampai skrg aku ssh nak lupakan si dia..sampai nak move on pun susah sbb otak aku cakap move on tp hati aku ni masih sangkut dgn si dia..proves that my heart wins against my brain (TT^TT)pity me.. baca punya baca..until 1 post that is my most favourite..that i almost weep(mengeluarkan air mata)..sebab sad sgt2..i cant hold it..im touched..until then i ask myself "why did this happen?" ulang2 dlm otak aku nih...aku msih xpcaya bnda tu jadi..after reading, aku xleh nk lupa..my mind stuck in the past..im happy in tears..klo dkenang mmg aku sad sangat2 tp aku letak diri aku ni kat past so i feel like im still with her.. hm..rasa mcm nak stay kat past je..aku tau aku xleh pikir cmtu..sbbkan aku S***** kat si dia sangat2..i lost my mind..lepas bnda tu jadi kat kite..xleh nak trima..tp mmg salah aku jgak msa tuh.she cant trust me anymore..ttibe time tu ego aku spiking like hell..dan bodhnya aku ni xlayan die..ingt xnak la kacau si dia time tu sbb kot2 si dia ni lg marah kat aku..plan xnak buat si dia ni tambah2 marah sbb maklum la aku ni annoying sket..rupe2 nya si dia tgh tggu aku tgur  TT^TT plan baik jdi buruk..sometime apa yang kita plan kita rasa elok untuk kita and sapa2 la kita syg will make it worst..we didnt expect wht will happen in future..but we never stop regret about our past..sdeh sangat2..xleh nak trima knyataan..i really2 cant hold it anymore..my pride as a man drenched in tears..im sorry..sangat2 lah sedih right now. FROGGY saya mintak maap banyak2..saya tahu saya salah..im really2 sorry..last2, ttiba kat dlm bilik aku nih hujan....

me & you..now & always

i appreciate u..i cared bout u..i take good care of u..i never cheat on u..no matter how hard it is i never ever forget about u..all the memories we create together never fades away..if only i am the only one who feels that way i wouldn't care..all i know is i really "liked" u..i loved u..everything was true..its not an acting..i hope someday u realize my sincerity..happiness before marriage is not the one that i pursue..happiness after marriage is my goal..i will remember that forever..i will try to prove it someday..i will show it to you my sincerity towards you..up until now i still can put a smile on my face..but the agony & pain inside me cant be erased easily..i hope someday you will erase it for me..i know i am not the coolest, interesting, funny and good looking guy that always being chased by girls..i also don't want those things..better for me put myself on the ground..being low profile..all this while i repelled myself from falling in love with other flowers in the garden..because i can't even let go my feeling towards you..i can't even forget you..its been a hard time for me..everything i do i remembered you..everyday i look at your picture hoping that you will comeback..forget about the past and start it all over..i hope you understand my feelings towards you..i really want to ask a question for you..what did i do wrong? was it wrong that i really loved you? was it wrong that i appreciate u? do i need a reason to love you? isn't it nice that a person said that he loves you with no specific reason..and he loves you because it is "you" the loves that gifted not created..rather than a person said that he loves you because you are kind and beautiful..i know it sound silly..but it has a bit of useful meaning in it..i hope you will understand..it is my true real feeling toward you..right now i may not say that i loved you..i realize that i am not worthy to say "i love you" because we are not married couple yet..but i liked you more than an ordinary girlfriend..special girlfriend..i hid this feeling from you after "it" happen to us..i wouldn't dare to show it to you..all i know is everything i do is sincere..i do not ask for return..all i want is you to understand..not much i ask from you..just understand :') 

i promised i never let you down..i will never forget that.

and i just wanna be with you..only you.

for my lovely FROGGY

kitak, kamek sikda pikir pun kitak polah salah..eventhou kitak rasa kitak banyak nyakit ati kamek, all those things sik la nyakit ati kamek gilak sebenarnya..it hurts when kitak try to stay away from kamek with all those guilt..i promised before..and i hold it till end..kamek sik abu2..kamek akan remember and hold my promise until kamek tunaikan..bukan kamek lupak janji2 kamek dolok..it just that lom ada rezeki kamek mok tunaikan..someday i will..i need you to trust me..dont worry FROGGY..kamek akan jadi babo for kitak..only for kitak..kamek babo sebab kamek ikhlas polah sesuatu..kamek sikmok kitak pikir kamek someday kamek akan ungkit semuanya balit..NO!..i will neverever do that..thats why i act "babo" infront of kitak..just to prove that i will never akan do ngungkit2 ya..and kitak, kamek mok kitak always makes me smile like you did before..kamek rasa kitak always make my day brighter..that was special about kitak..you r very precious to me..remember that..precious..no lies..